.

highlights of this week prob is s18 chalet. but as predicted, it turned out to be nearly exactly the same as last year, less the location. LOTR on xbox, psp, gambling or rather giving money, then zao liao. nv even arcade even though it was so close. made me think whether next year will i go anot, if there is one. i think the most useful thing was gilbert coming and giving us a mini talk about life, career, money. wtf he earns 20k per month! im contended to earn like 6 -7k a month next time, and he expects much more from us. wtf 20k. i cant imagine it. madness. he kept saying engineering not the way to go sia, now im having doubts about what im going to do next time.

on a side note, seems like the s18 ppl seem so unfamiliar to me alr, too long nv contact le. cant tok to them animore, nth to tok about. haiz some from familiar to nv tok anymore. but my fault, maybe i dun show any interest, too stone, and lack of effort.

anw. sunday left early for bball, was late by about an hour. damn cui. one round then start walking le. but felt like i could dribble better. but fuck i cant shoot, cant pass, and still cant dribble. make me so feel like buying a bball and train. ideal position next time i want to play is shoot guard leh, but i cant shoot at all now. and im slow, no stamina. damn.

ok now left with wil's er that thing.

1. The person who tag you is?Wil

2. Your relationship with him/her? brother... maybe master? or maybe ex master?

3. Your 5 impression of him/her? smart, cocky, confident, determined for somethings, 豪爽

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for u? erm, maybe throwing my water bottle in the dustbin, not forgetting my pencil case also ends up in the dustbin too

5. The most memorable thing he/she said to you? this one im damn sure of what to ans. DOG.

6. If he/she becomes ur lover, things he/she has to improve on? i dunno actually haha.

7. If she/he become ur enemy, you will? suck thumb endure while i get played.

9. What is it that you want to tell her now? nth.

Your overall impression of him/her is? a cocky brother?

11. How do u tink ppl ard u will feel ard u? happy maybe. sometimes i can be funny... maybe my face alone is alr funny.

12. The character you love of urself are? think too much, or i wun be so smart

13. On the contrary, the character u hate yourself are? think too much too, some things think too much only make u feel lousy.
14. The most ideal person u want to be is? 好人

15. For ppl who care n like u, say something to them: Woof!

16. Pass this quiz to 10 ppl that u wish to know how they feel about. no point, not much ppl read my blog anyway they wun noe.

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a more fun weekend this week. sat bballed like crazy in the morn, wow feels good to bball again man... bballed about 4hrs.. totally shagged, damn cui sia. haiz. plus watched abit of hot shot, the fire to bball burning. after bball supposed to find pks ler ken, but pks last minute cmi so cancelled, then went kr hse tok abit of cok lol all shagged cannot move tok cok. nt bad also can sit down tok cok like dat. then went watch yes man, funny show haha. then rot ard here and there then zao home le. started playing crisis core also, nt that nice wad i find it. the story also hmm nt until like whoa. wonder y ade like it alot sia haha.

well just lost another dota match, seems like i suck at everything. well nth to say. haiz fuckkkkkkkkkkk.

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well blogging again. but i've got nt much to blog. last weekend intended to bball, rained, this histroy repeated itself again. over the last 2 weekends watched bolt and the day earth stood still. lol bolt is damn cute. puppy form is godlike. oterh than that nth much. the day earth stood still nt bad, all the power, the lights, action also ok, the plot at firsrt quite interesting, but the ending abit abrupt. pooled abit this 2 weeks, though i feel no improvement.

k nth much to blog about liao lol.next next week will be the week at last.

oh ya 1 yr of ns liao.

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blogging again haha. thats cos i finally bought my own psp, after looming dangers of rapid increase in price of the old psp, due to the holiday season and high demand of psps as they are becoming more norm, also in the supply side my fren told me that they are slowly not producing psp2000 anymore, hence reducing supply, as well as the fact psp3k cant mod, making it a special type of good that i cant remember the name, that type of good that no matter how high the price is, the demand still there, i also dun remb how the curve looks like, so add together demand supply makes price shoot up. hence i bought mine also at a high price fuck. but it feels good to finally have one. and as im blogging now my mum just kp for buying it. and i totally daoed her. fuck everything i do is wrong. forever wrong. from young is like dat. 100 marks nt enough must 101 marks. whatever. get A grade say i tyco. smlj. not a praise or anything. thats y my family like all individual de nt much feeling. thats y i can be very cold to ppl lol. so thats y im abit surprised at her family, bonded de, thats y i tried to make a diff to my own, but in the end i heck it.

ok after one para of crap. today went buy psp. before that went pool, as usual hopeless at it, no idea wtf im doing. after that go tampiness ikea to find wil's cabinet. then zao home. just dota finish nia. wonder wad my dad will say when he sees my psp. nt intending to let him c it anw. hide it as long as i can. sian when can i bball.... haiz. anw wun be using my com much, esp when my mum is ard, to shut her up as she keeps saying i play game then lead to skin lousy, which there is little link to it but just to shut her up. and for the sake of s18 chalet so that she will nt kp so much when i go, and for xmas times if need go out, and for future bball. lol seems like i escape from army the sergeants and all, only to come back home to find mum.

.

been a while since i last blogged, dun feel like blogging nowadays alr.

anw. last last week i think. went to makan with ken ler pks hao zw. couldnt tok anything except army things sia. sux. makan finish zao le do nth.

yest. fri night went stayover at wil hse, more interesting weekend, thats y im blogging haha. night go there watch wil dota dota, all the bros gather le, about 11 plus go down with the xo and tidbits go downstairs playground with the intention of an emo session, ended up in a high session. first time drink alcohol sia, taste like crap. vision become nt so clear sia keep moving left right. tok cok sing song le no more tidbits go back wil hse slp liao.

next day wake up relag abit then go cine there kbox. gg sia. also first time go kbox. chua dio. shall skip the details haha. after that went lan abit play cs, lol long time nv play liao, very ci ji sia. either i rusty or im getting slower le. after that went home lo ard 11 plus reach cant even dota sianz.

seems like can only tok army stuff with ken and ler and pks they all sia. diff case with bros can tok more things. drifting apart liao. anw parents keep kp sia when i say i go chalet (actually is go wil hse stayover) , say no more chalet liao december one cannot go. lol. december dunno how to fight sia to go s18 de. at first i die die wan go, but now i think more, maybe dun go also nvm lol. dun rly wan to c all the officers, specs all the zai ppl when im a clerk. go there, only thing i wan do, is arcade, nth else. go there stone.

haiz nowadays more and more emotionless liao, or maybe im getting slower haha. haiz also dunno what to blog le, nth to say.
想见到她，又不想见到她

.

yay oct gone. nth much this week again, short week. can only say the new nsf, his attitude is going from bad to worse, fuck me nvm, now fucking all his superiors. even the most nice officer also caught him sleeping so soundly call him he also wun wake up. if he cont like dat, gg to him. on a good side, will only make me look like the nice and gd guy, leading to better impression and more chance of promotion. haha damn sounds like real life politics. cant be bothered to correct him haha, im so evil. who ask him fuck me.

zzz when will my confinement end, when will it recover.

next week will be a gd week again haha. got activity jiu shi gd week. after next week jiu shi pay day. then will be the middle of the month le. time to clear leave. then ppl a level over, ppl pop.


haha like very OpTimiSTic sia. actually is just another fucking week.

.

yea long weekend liao. then bb october. nth much to blog about sia. dota dota and dota. got win got lose. thats about it haha. nowadays zion full of noobs, laggy host, and leavers. sianz. lol rly nth much to blog about sia. nv go out jiu shi at home rot. hahas. dun flame me pls -.-

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suddenly remb fri duty that time toking to this dsta guy, just grad nia. he waiting his turn present outside i tok to him, mechanical engineer. he said engineering quite hard with all those foreign talent very hardowrking de. he said his frens some end up teacher ah insurance agent worse. haiz. he say no first class honour no tok sia. second upper got interview chance. wah like uni damn shiong sia. what if next time i cant find job how. end up as teacher meh.

anw sat come back after going out, c this old guy sitting on the bench stoning, think wa next time i old liao how. stoning away waiting to die? how will death feel like? fug i think about one day i wun wake up quite scary sia. suddenly like everything no point sia one day will die. my fear of death haha.

anw today play whole day quite shiok lol. dota also win many times. c wil they all emo abit b4 booking in, haiz. nowadays nv emo much liao. stay out jiu shi like dat haha.

anw. half of october is down, yeshhhh!!! next week long weekend, yeshhhh!!! then fuck off october, yeshhhh!!! one step closer to ord lo

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long time nv blog le now blog abit ba.

for the past 1 mth i think kena confine at home cos of my skin -.-. nth much to tok about. today finally go out for once. go makan yuki yaki so long nv eat bbq le haha. then eat the ice cream damn cok. then when arcade watch them zham 18 worth of rambo wtf. then arcade somemore then play pool lol. super cui. nv gd at it anw. then go watch max payne. another weird movie. like x files. thats about it haha.

well i gt nth much to blog about alr sia.

haiz still miss u

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yesh one month down, bb sept.

next thing to look foward to, next wed pub holiday, then pay day.

anw. this week. weekday ok.

fri. nth much.

sat. went amk with wil they all watch them buy psp. like za bor trying on clothes sia. first is compare price. ok thats fine. then choose colour. take dunno how long. then is choose game. wtf took like 1 hr plus plus. after every thing finish go collet psp then trying to distribute the game discs. whole thing like window shopping for clothes, trying on clothes, choosing design, and finally how to wear the damn thing also need so long. aracde a while, as usual. then go home nv do much go slp liao.

sun. morn go watch them bball. damn really wan play sia. then go wil hse rot then go woodlands a sec then go watch painted skin. wah nt bad sia c ppl so willing to sacrifice themselves. cliche though the movie nth much. then go teo hse rot. learnt the most basic mahjong lol. rot playing olk psp, then finally went home now blogging.

nth much this week. my eagle claws more or less fully learnt. every day new scratch wounds. wtf. weekend discussing about wil and tong lol. seems like i prob becoming stone alr.

prob let go liao hahas. time heals all wounds sia.
but scars remain.

but there's always plastic surgery haha.

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yesh another week passed.

another happening week in office. lol think we getting scolded more and more often liao lol. noisy they say. = nothing to do. even the one sitting beside us also give us a lecture sia. lol. beter watch out or will be signing extras alr.

today, ie sat. a very peaceful day, maybe boring. morn wake up at 10 lol sleep more feel more tired. wake up play game lo. a nice bright sunny sat and im at home playing com what a waste. 11 plus went downstairs buy rice so many ppl downstairs coffee shop eating the breakfast, talking, reading newspapers, ppl at markets look see look see, so full of life. reminds me of stay in days where i treasure such liveliness. civi life. book in feeling.

afternoon rotted infront of com. wanted to go arcade play, but handicapped without my taps card zz.

night. went out for a walk downstairs, and saw some things. saw this very young boy climb a lampost with ease. no gloves no equipment. just hands and feet. im sure his parents never taught him how to do it. yet he do it so easily. zai. no fear.

walk somemore saw in cc wushu performance, just nice the taiji part. zai.

walk one big round to stadium there saw in the indoor court bball match taking place. watching the players, as well as the people watching the players. 感触良多haha. wad if i could be the one playing lol. and got ppl watching.

as i walk thinking about alvin chua's blog the tagboard, one comment is that someone say he need a gf to cure his loneliness. hmm alot ppl feeling lonely sia maybe this is the solution. hmmm maybe this is a biological need at this age and all. wonder y girls dun feel lonely at all. their blog nv say anything. lol prob its ns.

now im rotting again, trying to ignore this itch. fucking bleeding again. and seems like the skin is taking longer to heal compared to last time.

yesh next week will be sept end, and one month gone again.

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A week of office politics indeed. like some of the colleagues say when i first came in, these ppl u help them they will take advantage of you. and these group of people are purely colleagues, nt frens. i now understand what they were saying. help ppl abit, and they say u're too free no work to do. wadever.

whole week kena nag about my skin and all. damn fed up. i'll put an end to all this. everything.

now i know wad it feels to be at the bottem, how sucky the feeling is, considering i've never really been down there, gd grades nt the worst at everything. now i know.

i'll end all of this. enough is enough. i'll prove it.

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a short weekend just fly past nia.

weekday same old shit.

sat. decided to go to co lunch, which didnt really felt like going but alr agree ppl le so just go. wasnt that bad ba but nevertheless sian. felt like sleeping throughout. ler was also stoning so much. dun feel much anyway nowadays hardened and cold no feeling liao. after that went with ler go vivo buy tix then he zao le i go back dhoby arcade on my own. spam on ghost squad and bball. wandering around the arcade c chio bus c all the couple ar haiz cold wind blowww. xin han. haha. -.-. then go back vivo watch cyborg she lo nt bad movie main char very chio. nt that touching lol and the flashback make ppl confused nia spoil the movie abit. windstruck more zai lol super emo de sia. after that shop ard help wil decide wad to buy to give his next potential target. then go back dhoby find kh and frens at this pub nt bad atmosphere though i dun like drinking and all this. then go arcade play abit then go mac makan then go home lo. go home tok msn awhile only mum kp then have to go slp.

sun. bball. nt bad as usual. then go wil hse rot watch long hu men again then rot here rot there then zao home dota heng last match win. then rot in msn till now lo.

haiz dunno how to describe the feeling now. lol seems like everyone feeling like quite lost, sian, fucked up, sick and tired of this shit, plus many many more. "y u so negative about ns ar". after i saw this i swear i wun msg her again. nt angry. but just. i also dunno how to say. so easily can sweep this aside like its nothing like dat. feel very wad. even though i quite useless but still... lol now i c ns taking its toll on many ppl sia. while im out of all those chiong sua and shit. lol nowadays dun feel like goin out to c ppl, esp those nt rly close de. no face to c ppl liao lol. i wan to hide in one corner nia. i reply ppl i clerk, can tell the way they think change alr. i alr seen it. clerk = cui. rly is cui la i wun deny. but still no face to c ppl alr.

feel a mixture of empty, pointless, useless, and after all that, no feeling at all.

啊~~ 谁说我不在意空等候
原来 你从来都没深刻爱我
我才懂不是我不心痛
其实是心没了感受


anw... i noe teo will be stalking this, so, GD LUCK FOR UR BRUNEI TRIP!!! noe that we're ard, and u have ur bros in the ouside world outside of the damn army camp and ns and all.

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woo this week was a slack week yay after 2-3 busy weeks. nth much happen, or at least compared to the last few weeks. fri somemore was sooo slack. went home so early sia after so early sia after like 3 weeks of ot.

anyway. sat. afternoon went watch death race. no comments the fact that we could sit nearly anywhere says it all. after that went arcade as usual, tc2 gun spoilt, so now woodlands arcade doesnt have anything to play at all, bball machine is different, no ghost squad, no tc2, well at least got tc3 and 4 ba. somemore is time zone i dun have card. after that went wil house, played ps2 for a bit, then suddenly they brought out the swensons cake to celebrate teo's bdae lol. sing song cut cake eat cake, i think the cake doesnt taste to its expectations ba, nth much. after that continued rotting on the ps2, then went eat kfc with 1 free whipped potato and cheesefries to call it a day. weekends seems to be getting cheaper. quite some time never been to town le, nv go orchard cine and all. went home as usual dota as usual lost as usual dunno y dunno how just die.

sunday rotted at home while kr teo olk and clement go amk rot. nothing to do anyway. haha clerk alr then can say like that. last time i'll be using every moment doing something just for the sake of doing it. now becoming more and more stone everyday, just watch as time moves past me. everything seems so pointless lol. just living day to day lor. like last time in cds just totally shut down until friday bookout day also not much feeling lol. one hole somewhere.

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lol back to english for a while.

hmm more and more ppl their blog like to chu stunt sia. hidden words ah. must ctrl a to read a blog properly liao, esp when there are large gaps.

office work may not be as easy as i thought, though cannot compared to those combat side lol. this 2 weeks i think everyday tio zham lol busy busy busy. kena fuck left right centre. after monday one down another to go another person to get fucked by lol. i dun give a damn man. most impt is my medical review ahhh. coming soon 5 sept. just when my skin healed after a most jialat period i ever been. now back to scratching alr lol.

last weekend spent normally, go amk arcade whack ghost squad, noob lol. keep dying then nv complete then nv get anything -.-. arcade le go eat wait for olk arcade again -.-. olk show us HIS ghost squad lol. never see enemy enemy die le. after that as usual go wil hse watch movie. ride bike go rent movie feel that my skills improve abit lol after kena fucked by wil. nearly got hit by a lorry sia. reaching the zebra crossing saw the lorry coming. got the urge to chiong across cos wil before that keep telling me dun think. heng last minute choose to stop. cos i wouldnt make it in if i cross lol. watch a damn lame movie at his house, pure waste of time.

next week caught some of the olympics, esp sg table tennis. china owns sia. heng sg fought korea or else no silver liao. singles saw li jia wei getting fucked by zhang yining so sad. li jia wei si bei alot pattern each time she misses. completely diff from zhang yinning no expression at all. just like jay chou initial d. then the women single china vs china is damn zai sia. li jia wei seems noob alr.

this weekend did nth lol except pia dynasty warr at home. suddenly got urge to play. no arcade no nth.today saw bball gold medal usa vs spain. wah that is also damnn damn damn zai. later prob go catch the closing ceremony ba.

haiz going to 9 mth mark le. yh alr finish his course le alr 3sgt liao. wil they all bslc finish liao all posted out. as i stalk blogs during weekdays while ppl are chionging in camps, c uni life also starting liao. feel more and more loner sia after being a clerk. like now choose to stay at home nt go anywhere just diam diam. just waiting for the days to past by. i think i noe y alr cos i nv run at all this week. partly cos my skin sux, partly cos tio zham at office until morale damn low lol. hope they can give me 3sgt leh next yr rly hope can get. but judging from my performance now, error here error there, haiz no hope. lol at least we're hardworking.

as i read ppl blog about uni, i also think about next time uni, lol maybe next time can go join bball sia. but sibei noob leh how play. and lol next time go ntu got jurong point. there got a good arcade lol. nt bad.

but after all that, everything seems pointless in the end.

。

国庆日过咯。今年连国庆庆典都没看，真惭愧。

这个礼拜感觉上也比较难过，可能是因为要做完全不懂的事，而同事又一直说不会做啦，看到头痛啦。听了很烦，很想骂他，又不可以骂。拜五很不甘愿地去喝喜酒，结果没想像中的坏，只是食物没那么好吃。

拜六早上打球，和旧同学聚一聚。过后就去wil家，然后又出去看电影，然后又回去他家看电影。中间去游乐场玩一玩，没什么好玩的，没ghost squad，好闷。

拜天发霉，玩了几场，终于在最后一场赢了。

看到她的照片，已经认不出她了。哈哈，我已经完全不认识这个人了。

没什么好写，去睡了。

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一个礼拜又过了。 一个礼拜一个礼拜慢慢的过。 还有数不完的一个礼拜要过才能结束。

这个星期没什么特别，一样的过了。这个礼拜不错每天都有跑，4 3 4 3 5km，感觉耐力便强了，也感觉瘦了一点哈哈。不过是慢慢跑，才可以跑更久更远一点。

忘记是拜二这样，突然一个简讯来，说拜六我们班有聚会。想去又不想去， 想见到她又不想见到她。最后是天意，本来说要去，零时改跟别的朋友看戏。据我所知，她也没去。哈哈，她连最后一次去年的chalet都没去，小小的聚会，更不用说，何况她是大忙人。

拜六去看钱不够用2，想一想，以后不知我也会不会跟他们一样。现在说得容易，以后呢。如果她看这部戏，我想她应该会看到流泪吧。看完了去吃Ajisan,第一次吃，没什么特别，倒不如吃小贩中心的面，更有味道。吃完了去arcade玩一下，原来ghost squad 也挺好玩的哈哈。就这样，拜六就过了，他们又要回去了，感到一阵心酸。回家玩，又输了，不知道最近输了几次，数不清。

想一想，其实兵营有点像老人院。老人院里全都是老人，面对着跟自己一样的老人，每个脸都没有笑容，夸张一点来讲大家都在等死。兵营也一样，面对着跟自己下场一样的人，大家都不愿意，都一样辛苦，一样的在等死。

拜天没出去，在家里发霉，看一切完美。太好看了。看完了现在就在写博客咯。

这个星期，又浮现了，越想埋，越埋不下。

等一下又要跑咯，懒得要死，但没办法，还是要跑。一定要变强。

美 是不够的。
一定要 一切完美。
太好看了~~~~

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been a long time since i last wrote something sia. nth to write about thats y nv blog. anw a short recap on the past few weeks.

13th july that weekend. hmm forgot wad i did le lol. prob went out with wil and gang watch some movie.

last weekend went out with ler and ken they all meet up lol. long time nv mmet up le sia. ler also hell week over le. wan watch batman but no tickets so went eat sakura tok cok tok cok then go back.

this weekend. fri go watch batman with ade shijun alvin chua. damn nice show i would say. sat watch x files. gore sia knn. very chim movie also. dun rly get it until the end. gore shit. sun bball then go wil hse watch run daddy run or sth gu tian le and liu ruo ying movie. nice show as well funny but touching also.

haiz seriously i dunno wad to blog. as usual clerk life is gd, at least for my department, and i dun wan get posted out sia. At the same time watching all my frens going through shit. lol at least ler now also out of divers sia ooced like me. damn bad lol to think this way, but nevertheless deep inside still feel slightly happy knowing someone also ooc like me. lol i cui also wan ppl cui with me as well sia. enough about ns. 1 yr 4 mths to go.

anw. haiz now feel everything also no meaning lol. dunno y. and feel damn cui lol. everything lousy. studies lose ppl get dual degree scholarship 5 a. fitness lousy. bball lousy. ns lousy. dota lousy. maple half fuck. simi lanjiao also lousy lol. last time i didnt mind sia being nt the best i just do my max or near max can alr. now ar dunno y seems like being ok ok is nt enough lol. maybe now my ok ok is lousy le. and cos of her. everything also work pia until best. oush beyond limit. opposite of me relag relag. haiz now got to run more. all i want to do for the time being is to become stronger. realised i alr lost my old self le after being enlisted. now everything also must become very gd in it, last time was so so can alr simple life jiu hao. changed becos of ns and cos of her ba. now changing again back to last time liao.

keep msn scrolling down c c sia. doint it more instead of kicking it. c wad NYS camp rocks! wad hall 10!. c le only sigh more. like the yi qie wan mei the guy only stare at msn nv do anything. wtf. run more ba. forget everything. bury it under my footsteps.

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time fliess... or rather weekend flies.

weekday seems longer this week. have no idea y. do norm things ba. running ar more and more cui. endurance dropping.

oh ya and found out a 不能说的秘密 haha. 迷底终于揭开了.

weekend. fri they havnt book out. rotted at home. sat. morn play abit they damn late book out. go out with pks ken xings wil hao. long time nv c them le. lol ken ar getting cb quiet. the rest all norm lol. all dun show signs of army taking its toll on them lol. anw. arcade alot then watch hancock. hai hao show ba. plot is slightly lame. after that aracde somemore. lol rly more and more chio bu all ard. less shuai guys ard. aracade itself alot alr.

sun. swim. lol knn swim now cant swim alr. tired. then makan arcade somemore. late le then go back lo. dota. own 1 tio own 1. sad.

clerk life rox. if not. i'll be dying now. anw. wah yuan lai she got facebook. and do until alot pattern . finally removed the damn chain. only physically remove the burden nia. its still there. everytime msn log in will scroll down de. next step is to kick this. oh wtf.

12.35

knn so slow. wtf....

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another week gone lo...
weekdays as usual. run until quite shagged sia. but nth compared to those in camps ba.
my ankle acting up again dunno y.
sat. morn go swim. swim until like anythime going fall asleep scared le then dun swim. lol we toking army stuff then one guy prob a warrant splash water at us sia wtf then ask us where we from then tell us nt to say so loud. spoil entire mood to swim wil and clement both sian. after that go wil hse then go army mkt. meet bangjie teo olk. then go aracade zham. knn bball 500 plus. y cant reach 600 sia. feel like dun play le. watch wanted. quite cool lol the shooting. the twist also nt bad. oh ya saw co juniors sia. lol the same clique ba. danhong giggling non stop. saw zw and ler also. knn ler looks fit le. somemore the way he tok like diver no kick liao. zai. lol nv tok to juniors sian i go shit comeout all zao. after movie go arcade again saw yh and ade. lol tok 2 lines they zao le. after that play abit then also zao.

sun. bball. shagged. all bookin in le sia they. heng i no need or will go crazy.

anw. lol yuan lai wad ive been thinking is only an illusion. go out actually is very normal de ba. lol this time dun feel much. prob think about ns too much then this nt that impt. 2 things off my chest now feel better. dunno when will i truely dun care sia. prob the day when i take the dog chain off ba hanging it since ive got it for it to be seen. but still was never noticed. or couldnt be bothered.

anw maybe i take it too hard on mysekf for being clerk ba. seems like ppl dun really care. ler doesnt seem to mind. ken too. ks also. wil and gang still treat me norm. dunno deep inside wad they think lol. but i will carry this scar forever ba. for being so cui nt to be able to take ns then siam.

..

hmm. always say my bro useless. end up. im the most useless one. got gd foresight sia or else end up with a useless guy.
hmm. im a lucky bastard posted to clerk. wun go through all the shit.
but. dun up pes me lol. so loser lol. thats y im useless.
anw. nt much. weekday norm. thurs or wed swim at safra. nice place. fri zham lotr. the one me ler zham at chalet for dunno damn long.
sat. arcade. silent hill flop. nth much else. go olk hse rot. dota. ps3 is cool.
tml. bball.

lol pop/poc lo

lol nt me poping or pocing. bmt de pop tues. ssc de poc fri. all going to their next stage of ns le.

anw. weekdays. clerk work. work work work. doesnt feel like ns sia. 8-5 roxx. dun up me lol.

weekend. fri nv do anything. sat. lunch go paris international seafood buffet at marina square makan. wah the food is zai sia. the chicken chop is godlike choc fondue. godlike.

after that. go arcade rot. lol new game wad mummy wad maze de shooter quite fun lol. then go cine find cw and aj wushu. more like wil and kr go find them.
me teo olk go rot at upstairs watch trailer. ltr saw valentine with his gf sia lol feels gd to c ssc ppl again. then after that rot finish le kr knock out liao his stmach flu too jia lat go home. we go dhoby arcade this time bball cant touch 600 sia damn demoralise. then go dhoby want watch movie in the end nv watch all go home. tok alot with bok on the way back on the mrt about...stuff. go home dota lo win 3 rounds str8 nt bad.

sun. morn bball. 3 rounds sia all quite fun. play till shagged then go makan then teo zao olk zao kahwee zao geng liang zao wei qi zao bok zao all zao. left me wil clement go wil hse rot abit. play ps2 few times damn sian le. then clement zao. then left me wil nia stalking ppl. showed me his class his wushu all the chiobu pics lol. showed him our class lol let him c abit. nt much to c lol.

getting shorter. somethings best kept to myself ba. 有些故事 不必说给 每个人听.

ns
clerk
my life
what ppl will think
wad some ppl will think
uni money
course
this
that
the past
the future
nv thought so much b4
...
想太多.

kungfu panda

lol kungfu panda nice show.

aniway. weekday. do norm things. nowing more and more also dunno more and more stuff. heck. upper study passing me all the things soon all so messy and luan. for me to tidy up everything. but nvm work until quite shuang. got thing to do do finish got satisfaction. small small thing likle some admin nvm. ask me call this person that person do some weird weird work sia i gg dunno how. wah now another thing is whether will up pes anot after 3 mths. if up post out i can go die. hope nt.

fri evening. go out with ade again. go watch kungfu panda at lido. lol damn long nv go le sia last time go thing sec 3 go with wil they all watch some fighting show. anw go there buy tix lor wait wait tok cok tok cok. buy le go makan pepper lunch tok somemore then go walk around aimlessly in lido. rly aimless lol go up escaltor then walk 2 steps go down again. then go back up that time saw willa chen sia gg. at first saw her she like dun recognise then nv notice. after that later we waiting then she walk past us then she c me then like oh lol. then realised then smile smile then walk away lol. anw the show. very nice and funny sia. laugh non stop. si bei funny. after that go home watch abit tv then dota.

sat. morn wake up play. afternoon slp. night go out again makan with wil they all. give cw his bdae present lol. last week buy de. keep zham aracde sia. bball with wil top score 616. or iszit 621. zai first time touch 600. solo cui alr lol. after that go home dota again.

sun morn. wake up go swim. swim le go kr hse first time go lol. after that go mac makan tok cok then zao liao go home shun bian cut hair. lol 5 mths since i cut hair at outside.

lol i think my blog now super boring. sentence all short short one sentence one sentence. think im becoming retarded. wah clerk rly lose all pride sia. go out ppl sispec ar ocs ar even men also proud. lol. think i take it too harshly on myself. but 8-5 man rox. anw. sat night after makan go home online saw something sia. c le hmm. can only haiz. suan le ba.

lol wil tan kr teo think all blogging ba thats y i blog also. teo think maybe stalking sia lol. u can find go find lo. lol.

windstruck

been awhile since i last blogged. everyday go home sia is much less painful then stay in. lol getting less and less disciplined le. at first wan every alternate day go run then run once nv run le. then in btw wan do some static end of the week also lazy do le. just play com nia. cannot.

anw. still adjusting to clerk life. slowly learning more about my job. even though havnt do much yet. next time ba. mon go do nth again.

fri. hmm come home play game as usual.

sat. morn go woodland swim. lol feel like my stroke deproved. during swim wan vomit more often. after swim nth wrong so nt bad. after that go woodlands makan tok cok lag ard. lol lag bloody long. go arcade first thing look at 2 za bor shorts wear bloody short. like nv wear. lol. nv c the face nia wasted wil they all got c. then go play jurrasic park think spam 5-6 dollar. then play silent hill. graphics nt bad. story line tink nt bad quite complicated dun understand. game play ok ba. then teo go spam 6 dollar on the sweet machine nv get anything. lol quite hard to get anything sia. after that go wil hse watch 野蛮师姐 ie windstruck. yest watch b4 le sia la damn nice. sweet part quite nice sad part very touching. the za bor also very chio can fight liu yi fei alr. dam touching sia c the girl struggle when bf died. teared sia watching i teared i c my mum tear alot alr lol. nice. go wil tan hse watch again nearly tear again. is nice de lo. after that go eat dinner then go playground emo tok with wil and kr. tok tok 9 alr then go home le. tok about ns and life ba. haiz ns. si bei sian. dunno how ppl can take it postively sia i still in denial lol quite. fuck la clerk alr nth much to ask for alr.

edited.

k now cont tok cok with wil they all ba. oh ya ssc night. how sia dunno wan go not lol. scared go there awkward. but buddies all there. haiz next week then say. c if louis they all gt say anything nt. windstruckkkk. damn nice.

clerk

k. last week. went back camp that day jiu noe my posting liao go become admin assistant. that time one last thing is dunno iszit 8-5. then next few days doing some paperwork. very suay that few days. dun wan tok too much scully charged. my hands ar cursed spoil everything i touch. lol thats y wan become engineer spoil it then fix it. anw fri go there first day. go mindef work sia. the more i cannot blog about it mindef all secretive thingy. all i can say is the atmosphere feel like im out in the civi world and working. not doing ns. feels very weird la. nv had this experience b4. somemore chiong for 5 mths plus alr only used to seeing training areas and bunks. nt used to seeing offices. haiz wad ever ba. 8-5 alr nth to complain le. next week then c how.

k. fri after "work" then go braddel makan. ssc buddies treat sia sergeant derrick also come lol. mostly spear 2 and spear ppl come. eat wad botak jones. nt bad sia. the serving is bloody alot. then tok cok tok cok until all zao lo. lol didnt noe i made such a difference sia. lol sergeant derrick is damn funny. haiz will miss them.

sat. morn go swim with wil kh and wil fren. nt bad sia first time swim vomit feeling nt so strong. only a bit. them swim quite relax sia nt shagged. then can faster then wil somemore. but he purposely swim slow la lol. dunno how swim fast leh tried but end up only slower wtf. then just glide glide lo cont relax. after that go home play heroes. then night go out again meet wil teo olk kr bok. relag awhile then go watch chocolate. abit gore and scary sia. got the ghost movie feel. but the fighting quite zai lol. za bor can hit until like that. somemore so small size. other than that the movie weird weird de la but the back when they show the process of filming is wah. all the injury and all. jackie chan is pale sia compared to them. after that tok cok somemore then go home le. play dota also lose. keep losing la dota sianz. then slp lo

sun. now. bloggin. dunno wad to write le blog. nth to write about lol. heck.

gone in 60secs..

yep bookin in... zzz..
gone in 60 seconds... or iszit 30? or wad? wth is the movie called damn....

as usual.

lol now too lazy type title le. trying play with the system c how it appears.
aniway haiz as usual booking in again.
morn wake up 9 plus play play pangseh the rest who dota. keep pansehing them dota sia dun feel like dota leh. but no dota nv play together. next time must alr cannot become loner. then play heroes until afternoon sia yest planned this afternoon b4 lunch 11 plus go run de but play until quite late so heck. afternoon pack pack then cont playing. bro came back then suddenly go out again. mum just go work le. father morn company call him go back work. now im all alone sianz. hate booking in that day to be alone. feels like so crap. haiz from 5-7pm the feeling is worst i realised. sun setting then c ppl goin home ppl eating dinner and all. sat c feels peaceful sun c feels so fucked. wed goin appt so this week is quite short. except the atp part. oh well. next week another long bloody week. dunno when they goin camp sia or is there camping at all this batch. post me out to stay out la pls by then. bringing yi tian tu long kopped from damo since sec 4 sia to read. or else too fug bored. wanted go bishan lib after goin matt hse to borrow bi xue jian de but hmm end up nv go matt hse. this weekend must organise outing alr too long nv go ks side. that is if they wan. shit ler confine this week.

haiz completed alr 5 mth plus of ns. the rest onwards doesnt rly count ba. traded my pride for 8-5. hope rly get it. haiz yest bball sia wil they all dun seem to mind or care i down pesed lol. in fact no one rly cares maybe except those in my course now. or maybe they dun say nia. haiz i considered very fortunate alr sia whole life rather smooth. exam always get gd de. lol or at least very impt ones. family not much prob bu chou chi bu chou chuan though no air con no water heater but still quite comfortable. gt alot of gd frens who dun pangseh me more like i pangseh them cos im too lazy recently. must change. ns posting also gd sea soldier. regimental nia. and lousy schedule and slping hours. but got 8-5 days so considered better then norm 5 day work week lo. then ooc le may become 8-5. now worried 2 things one is whether get 8-5 second is wether after 3mths will i be posted out somewhere cos my pes down pes only temp or so they say for 3 mths. haiz first one more impt ba. lol cui cui cui. fuck it. oh well. k the emo period over le. 630pm. time to bath. makan then book in. zzz.

tired

hiaz today suppose to go matt hse. morn wake up 7 nia think so early wanted go slp again but scared late so go play hero5 again. play play play about time le then go shit still late. reach mrt forget bring atm go back take late even more. reach bishan wil they all say no court go whitley still full then go b4 shun fu road there also no court. pissed then go back yishun there full court think twice too shagged then stop le. then go northpoint eat ljs then go home. quite boring. go home jiu keep heroes lo. haiz abit no life again sia. last time always go out de go town and all. now keep staring at com liao. maybe last two weeks too exciting liao thats y lol. tml booking in le sia again zzzzzzzzz. as an ooc somemore. must remb to bring books read sia or gg. hope next week will get my posting. lol though i noe quite impossible. haiz. pangsehed matt sia lol. but also not much ppl go there also leh afternoon le only guohui there the rest havnt reach. go home c ken ler online wtf. boreddd. hmm more like siannn. haiz. so late still no one online sia. all go out shag le then go home str8 slp ba. tpday morn deep down noe i waiting for reply sia but none came. oh well. haiz now go watch some tv ba nth to do aniway.

haiz a weird and long week.
k firstly mon tues fall sick keep vomit and direhoea. keep my mind off emoing. wed run then after falling in going march alr suddenly called up say i down pes ooc le. wtf so stunned. then do ooc work lo. fucking sian. still need c sergeant lian se. and kena bullied by ooc somemore. fucked up. then c my buddies getting fucked while im doin nth. they do stand by i do nth. c them do this do that while im doin nth. damn guilty. and the look ppl give when they c im ooc. both trainee and sergeant. fuck la. even my own bunk mates dun tok to me so much animore. just 2 days nia even my bunkmate attitude change alr. wtf. post me out asap pls. and better be 8-5 or else ar i ooc wasted. alr no pride le if still dun get 8-5 then fug wasted. gave up pride alr. haiz. left 4 more weeks to poc sia. and i was looking foward to ssc night somemore. now even if im not posted out yet i also dunno whether i need go not. if go go as ooc wtf. then ben lai in performance with spear ppl instead prob wil be down there watching nia. haiz now worst is the feeling ba when c plt ppl and when they look at u. ji sian.

fri came back play heroes5. bro father go out left me i ask wil tan go out but i cannot leave hse cos only me. then kena scolded by wil cos pang seh. i quite sian that time so didnt fight back just get scold ba. ji sian.
sat also dam sian whole day stuck at home. while c ppl online become offline means they go out le. while im stuck at home. evening go out jog come back felt better ba. think is the wad endorphin or wad after exercise more high. whole night playin heroes 5 toking to ade and wil tan. nv even watch jacky wu. shit sia wasted. nv iron uniform also.
tml goin out morn bball then go matt hse warming. all the bros goin sia shiok can c all of them again. miss them sia. but now i ooc... not much face to see them lol. haiz maybe i just think way too much ba.

on a side note she suddenly msn say enjoy ur long weekend bla bla then offline le i playing didnt c. come out offline le. lol must be the letter make her guilty abit. i sms back bo reply lol. heck doesnt matter. zao jiu xi xin liao. totally.

haiz heroes 5 play until shiok finally can win after failed attempt once. then no time have to slp. better go slp now or tml sure late.

haiz booking in in 30mins. i wan die le. feeling is full blown. T_T

haiz goin book in in another3hrs. 1 hr to makan and bath and all. so left 2 hrs. 3hrs b4 i leave civi life again back to camp. the bloody book in feeling sets in once again...

lets c... fri stayed at home taiji and maple. sat basically the same. morn wake up quite early sia then maple quite a lot. lol didnt noe got 2x exp and drop. no wonder suddenly so many ppl. then taiji alot ba. then evening also do nth taiji somemore. then 930 go watch jacky wu and iron clothes quite funny lol jacky wu. hmm missed bi xue jian sia. then after that msn with ade while ironing clothes. a basically pretty boring day. lol wil ken they all all in field camp so no need go out. oh ya morn go run also quite shagged. then evening go downstairs buy snacks that time wa lol c all the nieghbourhood lively alot ppl kids running ard and stuff suddenly felt emo sia lol. civi life. so relax and all. yet i can only have a few hours b4 im back in camp again so sian. then go back home from tenth floor look down suddenly feel world very big sia lol. so peaceful. just wan relax sia do nth. but time is short. lol watch too much taiji le.

sun. morn wake up watch the last epi of taiji. then suddenly feel got one hole again. haiz everytime like dat sia watch finish one series got one hole. then dling heroes 5 ba. oh ya just realised on sat the taiji song sang by ling feng sia also he the second main char also. no wonder the song quite gd. then ard 11 go causeway pt go watch iron man with ade. then after that walk walk talk cok then go back home lo till rite now im blogging. hmm today nt as awkward as last sat. last sat is total gg worst. oh ya iron man quite nice sia. cool. and funny.

haiz booking in again. while going home today thought that sian sia going to go through another 5 days again. so many 5 days alr past by le. 5 mths of ns life sia. dam dam sian. long weekend to look foward to ba. haiz so shitty ns. going to miss home and all once again. 5 mths lol like nv improve. zzz. bookin in sux.

short but seemingly long week.

yay book out once again. and this week book out from sembawang sia somemore at ard 1plus. reach home at 2 go str8 to toilet stomachache lol. aniway thats nt the point. the point is shi shuang de lor so early book out. feels just like schooling sia after sch le.

anw this week. is short and slack, but somehow feels dam long. mon half day. rsn day. then rest of the week training lo. wah sian my ippt. 2.4 11.30plus. shuttle run fail 10.8. pull up fail3. standing braod fail 212. sit up 46. fail 3 items sia wtf. haiz standing broad ar from bmt keep failing le. jc best consistent 220. lol ming xuan they all last time also stunned y i can jump 220 when i like lol abit fat. pull up now can do 3 quite often le nt bad last time constant 2. k currently i cant do 1 at all cos arms aching like shit. shuttle run sia. keep failing zzz. so cui. this week quite slack ba did nth much. swim rly felt like falling out sia the vomit feeling very strong and keep happenening when i swimming halfway. heng cat 1. think i scared of water thats y. felt gd sia got one day got some mini competitiion btw our sections la, then i norm very low key de ma nt those zai one, then this type get to be the 5 to represent our grp lol. feels gd to shine once in a while. lol just like in nj sia. i low key de then maths always get a then name appear on the board ppl will wahhh de then turn back c c the feeling is shuang lol. with ken wong also. and beating the normal zai ppl like ernest tay. and smart ass like jinghao. rox. then econs get top during prelims or wad. black horse sia. rox. every one wahh again even mr lee think he surprised sia i low low key de. too bad some other ppl dun give a damn.

next week soc sia. shit. im scared of heights sia soc owns me. lol im nearly scared of everything. water heights, insects, ghosts, wad else sia. think do 2 days nia. i hope. next week is week 7 lo left 5 more weeks. next week long week sia no break. which shld be norm la but our course like alot holiday in btw lol. but got long week end to look foward to ba vesak day. lol now happy sun book in will noe the feeling of shit liao. now like more motivated to train sia. maybe cos this week slack ba. next week c still got mood not lol. wanna pass my ippt leh.

lol last sat night de images keep flashing in my mind sia. though becoming blur alr so fast. cant even remb the face clearly alr. lol i nv look at her direct much anw. lol anw she alr double degree ntu biz acct plus nanyang scholarship. zai. i no where near lol. feel abit useless leh. but fuck it lol i nt that time wan earn alot alot alot of money de. relag relag jiu hao.

kk back to mapling and more watching taiji ba.. now all alone at home, got the lonely feeling like shit also. hearing mp3 to ease it.

super awkward

lol today. holy shit. morn maple watch tai ji. after that afternoon go buy wallet then dhoby buy box. then say wan go cine. k i walk there. iron man no tix. buy newpaper wan find timing. no timing. k call cathay and gv. both numbers no reply. then decided watch forbidden. lan jiao she come alr super super awkward. super cold as well. i also havnt finish my stuff yet jiu anihow put in le ltr just give. sibei cold. nth to say at all. c her face so sian. i also dunno wtf to do. c her once in a while check hp. bu nai fan feel. i alr helpless le lol. wan dig hole and jump in alr. movie end le nv tok much. accompany to somerset pass her the box she give the very stunned face i also dunno how to say alr shove her the thing then fuck off lol. flop day sia. then go find wil tan eat at bk. then go home le. can tok normal alr. go home c her online. nt a word. nt a sms. lol. dam dam cold. no more le lol. no more. i scared le alr. k now go dota with wil. tml bookin in again. zz. ssc night gone liao lol. 可能睡一觉明天什么都忘记了。最好是这样。

yaya labour day

yay labour day to break the week up. k this week finally started pt. one word shiong. now im dam shagged. my legs think nt under my control animore le. lol if this continues think my next bball session i can run faster and tahan longer alr. which is gd. 6 more weeks to go and im out of here. haiz book out dayy was how to say nt on such a light tone. whole day kena scolding. haizz. they say discipline nt there. goin to giev us hell. sianz dun like that. some ppl just plain dumb de duno when to play when nt to cant read ppl face colour black like shit still play. gd thing is my section all nice ppl. and smart too admin time we tok cok play trainin time tok cok we cok serious we dun cause trouble. aniway starting to get use to the life le. except that booking in that day is still really terrible. book in le slp nv think much alr. every day i just follow through motion nv think at all alr also forget which day. haiz till now dunno when i can down pes. i seriously dun wan get posted to changi next time ar schedule ar i will cry. each book will be even more terrible.

hmm maybe the reason y i nt s emo maybe becos of her ba. cos this sat goin out. i hope. dun screw like last time pls. lol the credit goes to my frens who sms her without my consent. or else she wun go out de i wun even go and sms her. haiz now go bi xue jian.

cant think of a damn title

haiz booking in again. today did nth much wake up at 10 still fug tired. then dota abit maple lo afternoon pack talk watch bi xue jian polish boots. haiz. now booking in the shit fucked up feeling is back. sucha nice sunday afternoon. last yr i prob be prac erhu then mugging now. in btw sms her. ya esp last yr this time. maybe go out mug with ken wong they all ba. then night maybe go watch some tv mug or play com. those were the days man. haiz now going book in ar. fucked up. wan die sia. zzz faster down pes me go clerk la come on plsss. hate booking in. c my hse jiu she bu de. last time myabe now warming up go run also. fuck book out i heck la lazy train. like in camp train nt enough like dat. wa c wil tan they all all 6 book in de 4 plus zao liao. fucking early sia last time if i so early i will die. they like dam jia lat sia no admin time no welfare no shit. schedule also fucked up. 17days is the worst sia they. go through 17days of stay out is really fucked up. heng i not command sch or else go taiwan i will go mental. haiz... dam sian la. i wan to fuck off from army leh. 1 yr 7 mths more to go. haizzz. so dam dam long sia. zzzz. well at least looking foward to labour day ba and next weekend maybe go out. hope. ltr kena crushed again and again ar. haiznow go watch bi xue jian ba pei pei my mum b4 she go work.

end of 3rd week

sigh end of thrid week nia. 7 more to go. here's a recap.
monday. went c specialist with mum. asked the spec to write me recommend down pes sia really did write. wa book out for that short period is shaung de. then when wan book in again feel total shit. . then go c mo lo think im up on medical board but no status wtf. scared i cant ooc sia scully cant become clerk. first thing is cos i no status scare cant ooc. then scared ooc le post back combat stay in. next thing is scared ooc le nv post me to 8-5 vocation. lol dam chui again.

tues onwards train lo. i no status wad so just train. now one thing less to think about cos i no choice just train with the rest. no need think about wad geng not geng cos alr going to geng le. getting numb. maybe is becos mon got book out once. anw keep getting fucked sia the toilet zzz.

something interesting happened sia. my bunkmates go msg dunno wad to her sia then i saw the reply wad she said i want to date her ar. wtf i c le stunned first time c her tok this type of jiao wei. then my fren take cont sms lo. sms until this sat supposed to go out watch movie. wtf sia i also dunno wad to do. then she said this sat she busy prepare interview then postpone next week. lol. wtf sia. anw next fri then c la.

then today morn wke up dota with pks then go maple le eat lunch watch bi xue jian then go out watch forbidden kingdom with kr wil tan olk teo bok cw. lol all botak sia. then ltr saw pks ler ken daniel also. lol ken wong looks dam weird with his specs and botak. after that go watch with wil they all nght also dinner with wil they all pang seh pks ler they all sia. shit two side need run jia lat. tok cok all the way lo tok abt army. lol y keep toking army ar nt sian meh.

hmm tml book in then will noe die ba. for now go relag alr.

so cui.

hmmm. another stuck at home book out since last week. nowhere to go leh. joseph they all say fri wan watch movie book out le all still at home lol.

k. things during the week. go 2 courses. wah lan wear my bro his mask ar really sux. cant breathe de la alot of times wanted fall out de. actual test also wanted to fall out the gas sia burn my throat like cant breathe. heng managed to tahan and passed. the other course also wear mask but much nicer. can at least breathe abit. then fri quite slack sia. stand by abit. book out quite early sia. haiz goin start pt liao lo next week.

now the main thing i keep thinking. is whether to geng anot. same thing. haiz still cant make up my mind one moment wan geng next wan tahan. maybe becos of the ssc night lol must bring za bor. maybe is wan go through shit with my frens dun wan like status sit there watch nia the feeling is fucked. also dun wan wait so long then can ooc then still have to wait posting. by that time the batch alr pass out le. then like im still there. if nv post clerk kena those stay in de. then so fucked up. like clerk so easy get one sia. then might as well dun geng. ard 8 more weeks and im out. just like wil tan they all. then got pride somemore. but stay in sia so fucked. worse is they dun down pes me. gimme status nia then status too long end up i recourse. then might as well go die. or end up in some navy vocation need go ship then confirm die stay in somemore may stay dam long. haiz. hope tml the specialst gimme jia lat jia lat then i can down pes. highly recommend me down pes. then post me to clerk. then song. but need wait so long. sianz. best post me out chop chop. so cui me.

k. then sat night sia. watch bi xue jian on tv ironing clothes halfway suddenly she com ask me wad is infantry. wad infantry do. then i say lo. then ask me wad signal is. then i say somemore ask her y ask she also dun say. then lastly ask wads ocs. ask her again still dun say. haiz. c le quite fucked i pissed off. said wadever u say. after that didnt speak a word le she. then she kia alr say bb i also din said anything pretend nv c. fuck it. piss me off nia.

haiz fuck nia the sibei sian feeling again. going to go back to camp alr tonight. fug sia feel abit like crap. got one stone again. c now the weather so fine bright and sunny i siting at home staring at my com. my hse not a sound bro go out work father slp mum preparing dinner do hse work. this kind of quietness sometimes i totally cnt stand it. esp when i goin book in sia. sian somemore my com is in one small room all walls stuffy dark and all. feel like crap. 2 weeks nv go out le sia. last time everyweek will go out de. go out do something. now stuck at home. not a sound. im goin nuts. haiz.

haiz

haiz very de sian sia. going to go in again. fug. today nv do much. wake up ard 10. wake up on com dota le. me pks hao. lose alot times today sia. lose until very sian. just win one match nia just now finally. in btw bi xue jian lo. haiz now the fucked up feeling of bookin in again. rly sux. at least heng i nt in those chiong sua de lifetime weekends then can book out. sian sia. no atmosphere today also. everyone doin their own things. no one to talk to. still havnt recovered from yest sia. sibei sian. wait le one whole day bai deng. at night c online c the nick sia sian diao. come to think of it ard 5 mths nv c her le. excpet a's results c a glimpse. her present think can dump it le. today wun c her online ba. nt much ppl online. all tekong or working. haiz. lol my sentences all very short. cos i dam sian ba. lol survived last week as look foward to that day. then fri feel nt bad sia. end up yi chang huan xi yi chang kong. sianz. tempted to try again. forbidden kingdom coming up. but. lets just fuck it. haiz like just wasted the weekend away. so fast man book out de days. sian sia ns mentally fug tough for me. haiz go watch some tv ba. or bi xue jian.

first official week of ssc

lol first week. wad can i say. still quite ok ba. stand by 3 times a day. soemmore i toilet cleaner. sux. haiz wish i was a bunk cleaner. first wek still nv pump us hard sia. think next week going start the pumping alr. toilet so hard sure die. somemore havnt include those fall in late and all. chin up only did once. next time 3 times a day. gg. throughout the week no time at all ba no time to think and all. my skin still goin haywire. jia lat. everytime march sweat like mad then skin jiu gg. lol thurs was her bdae. sms her happy bdae duh. then aftethat ask her weekend free not wan go watch movie. she said sat night free sia that night i quite happy. then fri i book out le ask her wan go where watch. till now still no reply. haiz. 2 possibilities. didnt c as usual or choose to ignore. prob the 2nd option ba. then today quite sian sia lol dissapointed. haiz c her online i also lazy to tok le. somemore her nick got that love thingy. means what sia. y will bo dai bo ji put that again. scully she got her target le. haiz i hopeless from the start de la. lol now abit noe wad wil felt like during the von period. is sian de. oh well. training no time to think about all this extra things de. which is gd wun think abt her. so today whole day waiting for her reply also dun have afternoon went out to find navy pt and admin shirt but dun have. whole time waiting and waiting. maybe she didnt c the msg sia and wondering y i nv ask her. but its too late. give up. but will it be for gd this time? who knows. 黯然销魂

sea soldier...

haiz this will be one long post. better make it more organised lol. and a emo post also lol.
k from the beginning. monday morn go camp there cont with rp course. wa song man can take mrt go there. means sleep once at home le. go there is heaven man can buy chocolate eat relag relag ar everything also easy. i remb first day book out ard 630. bloody late i also dunno y. second day more or less the same book out even later some idiot lost something then i go makeup training. wed book out ok. then i go run 4km run finish whole night legs sibei tired. then due to run nv watch ah wang only watch 15mins. thurs book out also cb late cos of that one bastard. play with us la. heaven will opunish u de. fri wah lan 4 pm can book out alr i think dunno waste so much time doing nth waiting. wun they dun realease navy ppl when we alr noe wad to do le. cb. the course quite ok ba. boring. encik is the man sia teach us alot things keep toking to us sia about life things i quite inspired by him. like role model lol. wun forget him de and some of the things he said. haiz this course is heaven man every day relag relag then keep buying chocolate to eat lol. gd life. still can book out go home relag relag use com go online watch bi xue jian. nv rly dota much. haiz this few days she nv online dam long le leh lol. haiz. every morn still can wake up at 530 slowly eat breakfast while slping then take mrt slp again. most of the time sitting down in air con room de sia addicted to air con alr.

saturday. morn go bball at fragrant wil quite late lol come down we end le then go back his hse rot ard dota abit. then set off go army mkt buy their stuff ken wong also came buy. then confirm with pks to go woodlands makan dinner. then go back wil hse rot ard watch ah wang watch finish. wa ah wang man is very touchiong watch second time still eyes will wet de. sian sometimes want to be like ahwang everything think simple can be happy always. nt like me think so much emo emo think this think that until ownseklf wan die. but cant help it leh. then after that go causeway makan walk there with wil emo emo rlag abit. walk the path the night air so coool so fresh smell so nice sia. wish everyday can be like that so zi yu zi zai relag relag no need rush here rsh there go army esp. haiz then go makan with pks matt and wil lo then walk ard talk abit the go home le. so fast one day just gone like dat. haiz. go home dota bi xue jian lo waiting she online also nv online. just her presense is enough le lol. then dota dota win one round shuang de then got the emo feel alr tok to wil and kr. we emo abit father mother kp me alr i close com.

sun, ie today. morn wake up go swim. nt bad swim 12 laps plus learn abit how thread water. though still quite sucky. end of it got the stupid vomit feeling again and think caught a cold. then pks ask wan go watch movie mah then i agreed lo. i wil and zhiheng swim finish go causeway makan mac then zhiheng go le then i and wil also go. wil go home prepare go out to movie again i ownself go movie. the vomit feeling very strong sia felt horrible somemore nose running like md felt tlike shit. wanted to just go home and slp sia. reach le go plaza sing watch movie lo 3 kingdoms with ken zw me hao pks. nt that nice la 3 kingdom nth much. just c liu de hua nia and all the fighting. watch finish le go arcade then wil also watch finish come arcade find us. bball abit score abit noob lol then go home le hao also need book in. haiz whole day quite emo sia dun wan go back army. then go home jiu pack my stuff then keep dotaing le till ard 930 then start to blog.

haiz dunno sia. dunno wan down pes anot. down pes no pride. if down pes then got those 8-5 de then jiu my dream come true. i badly wan go home lol. civilian life man rox. miss it. 1 month of civi life alr now dun wan lose it again sia. 12 days leave 1 week stay out 1 weekend book out plus this weekend. total 23 days. now going back to hell sia i she bu de. but wil tan kr ken wong also going in le with me. then like got more support. pks also goin air force shit place going through shit with me also. haiz dunno sia. now like ah wang like that got one rock on my chest cannot move away. wan cry cry bu chu also. haiz she dam long nv online le. haiz fang bu xia sia. lol best like wad wil say got another target then can help forget her faster. haiz go navy dunno got admin time anot the most impt thing. got admin time can sms ppl emo ard tok to ppl. feel better. haiz everytime miss home ar go back home also nv do much stare at com nia. but got family's presence its enough le. can c my home enough le. oh ya think my first 2 book out wil tan they all still in confinement sia. then only me and pks book out nia and ler also. like that also dam dam lonely. the feeling will suck man. make me even more emo nia. haiz.

oh ya her bdae coming also le. 10th. thurs. dunno wan give her wad i wrote not. dunno wan give her her present anot. still need call her out. haiz wan to just heck sia. but aso dun wan to heck. san xin liang yi. so long nv online le. haiz i dun wan stare at com too long le go out watch tv with my bro awhile. tonight need slp early sia tml very early need go le. wish i could just take a damn taxi go there. but so ex. haiz tml take transport go there alone the feeling. sux. last time got my mum accompany me or else i will die. that last book in ar is rly feel vry lousy. the worst. now this time also nt gd. haiz im so weak lol. haiz kia kia.

haiz last week of rp course

haiz tml is the start of the last week of heaven le... abit sian sia... suddenly scared of sea soldier course le. dunno wtf will happen. still got soc and feild camp leh how they squeeze so much in 10 weeks. one week learn 2 gun ar. or one week learn all next week range. then still need swim and soc and one week got field camp. wtf sibei shiong. haiz dunno how man. dunno wan geng anot sia. haiz. now dota just lose again nia si bei sian. bi xue jian also watch halfway then have to iron my clothes. ohya just now got go swim sia stll ahve the vomit feeling zzz. then also nv go deep pool learn float stay in medium pool nia. haiz really wan to take the easy way out sia. but si bei lose face like that. she also will look down on me sia like tat. i also will look down on myself lol. frens also hui kan bu qi wo de even if they dun say. haiz. lol course havnt start i alr no discipline to carry on train on my own. tired sia. lol jst now i go initiate sia. quite dumb. lol. haiz i better go slp. watch some bi xue jian then slp. ah wang also watch so fast chiong finish also nt as shuang as catching it on tv. haiz. slp lo.

first day of ot ot.

lol today suppose to ot ot. same day as previous post for info just that now is night. today wanted to swim sia morn wake up sian sian wait wait wait then decide nvm afternoon swim halfway like want to rain want to rain or maybe it did i forget le so didnt go swim. then evening wan go swim alr realised father and bro both out gg. so nv swim. then night wanted go pay uni admin fee de then father go out bro havnt come back home again. lol. procrastination sux. so whole day cabaling. wa is quite jia lat cabal quite hard sia. abit like pko but got pot to spam. nt bad la. wa then at home watch bi xue jian. is shuang de lo. so many chio bu. lol wil tan jio me dota so amny times i reject all sia now he outside kboxing till tml. hmm.
she again inititated msn again. tok a few lines nia she reply so damn slow. dun wan tok then still initiate for fuck. make me feel worse nia. haiz. lol b4 she initiate i saw her online dam tempted whack. but nth to say. mei xiang dao she auto. lol if she next week inititae go out ar. i can chop off my head lol. better stop dreaming. haiz. hopeless de y i still fang bu xia. lol. haiz. she say gtg le dunno how long ago like 20 mins now still online wtf. lol i leave convo somemore. oh well. back to bi xue jian. tml better swim and go run. today whack one day of hand le

first week

wa cb sian man this week first day morn go there thought can go home after evening... then they suddenly say navy ppl must go back sia...... si bei sad si bei emo that time... anytime feel like crying zzz.... lol tears anytime can come outde... then is like very luan very confused sia no time must go back camp makan then need go home take stuff go back camp... that time fucking scared sia the sergeants all ar so fierce de nt like bmt like dat... very very emo and sad c everyone go home le i must stay in in camp.... the feeling is completely sux... heng still got my mum and bro helped me prepare stuff then chop chop pack then go take taxi in... wah that time really dun wan leave home sia very very de sad. then mum took taxi with me go there.. or else i will emo to death... one person take taxi so lonely so scared so unsure wad goin to happen... then next day also very emo for the whole day wan to die like that only think of going home nia dun wan do anything else eyes also keep getting wet... then keep smsing pks and wil tan and my bro... wed also the same each time they book out go home we need go back camp the feeling... is very sucky. all the while only thinking i want get out of navy i dun want to do this i wan geng. there discipline so strict sia everything also so strict sergeant tok to u like u steal his gf owe him money like dat treated like dirt worse then recruits when we first came to army. thurs then feel better le like got used to it like dat... thats when i start to think wheter i shld geng anot... dunno whether i can tahan the 3 mths anot... then i thought she can do so many jobs, pia so much for a level while i slack play com.. yet nv complain much like me... y cant i tahan this 3 mths as well. then keep thinking keep thinking wan chiong or wan get the hell out of the course anot. till now ar. haiz still cant totally make up my mine. if wan chiong i myself need to be discipline sia need train and all. will be very tough sia. will sacrifice things also. so ar haiz. then fri book out str8 away go find wil tan kr at causeway macafe ard 1030 like dat drink ice blend sit down there tok tok like that. lol my idea was to find somewhere quiet in the neighbourhood like some playgrd or wad then just sit down relag eat some tidbits drink some soft drink look at the sky lay down tok tok tok about xin shi like dat relag relag. mac the atmosphere ar like very fast paced like dat nt wad i wanted lol. then tok tok till 11 plus plus goin 12 le then take train go home lo go home i slack ard then they wan play dota by the time they ready alr 1 plus lol wtf i go slp le la. so now morn wake up le watch bi xue jian lol. wa the za bor really very very chio laaaaa. tang ning has been replaced lol my display pic. now still watching lol. think today all gone out le left me at home nia. wadever later beetter go swim trainabit. then come home better train pull up somemore. prepare for sea soldier course man. napfa gold $200 i wan to get it. is how much i wan to get it sia if really wan i will get it de. just like how much she wanated to do well. then really got 5 a's. lol maybe sia if first 2 weeks still can tahan maybe dun dopwn pes cont chiong try get sergeant course sia make myself be someone useful sia dun slack away 2 yrs do sth prove myself and impress her and make my parents proud lol. but lol im still me discipline i dun have alot. lol ren shi ta is my gd fortune sia. or else i will only think of slacking now. ke xi ah ke xi.

on another note lol during like thurs at night i still quite emo then ask her whether this weekend wan go out not lol. im nuts. then she reply only on fri night sia lol but havnt give yes no ans. then i lol as usual replied some shit then she say this week no time if i wan next week can go out as frens. then being dumb i said nvm next week then c cos that time i emo. wad a lousy reply lol. back to bi xue jian ba and all the chio bu ba.

day 10.

nth much today. at home wan ah wang ar also sibei lag cant dl. then fold clothes ar iron and fold somemore. then dota lo when wil come back. lol she bo dai bo ji msn initiate again. eat wrong medicine ar this few days. she yue msn ar i yue fang bu xia cb some more i keep testing ar keep getting rejected lol. yi ci you yi ci de da ji. better nt emo over her man or my rash will start again. fug somemore her bdae coming. i goin to guai lan alr lol. tml goin bball at 830 sia how to wake up lol. my both leg kena cramp still havnt recovered leh. then now no idea how go the camp lol. like first day of sch. sometimes during the day feel goin army nth la just accept it anw goin to wad sea soldier also no one noe wad is like sia so like goin special unit like that. some say shiong say say relag think wun die. then think if i can choose maybe will stay in camp sia dun go home clementi so far save abit money mum no need cook my meal also save somemore. but lol now at night i think ar i also she bu de home sia. lol maybe nt at tekong will be better. tekong sux lol. confinement sia. haiz hope all goes well. FANG BU XIA LA CBBBB zzzz. lol. im nuts. just be my gf bu jiu ok liao lol. pian pian bu ke yi. sadded. lol time to ah wang then slp. ahhh gei wo yi bei wang qing shui~~~

day 9

lol day 9 alr so fast... anw lol today. noe my posting alr. sea soldier 2PDF. wtf is a sea soldier sia nv heard b4. no one noes exactly wad it does sia but alot da ting da ting say sux. zzz. nt shiong can le la pls. i tired alr lol. k so morn wake up first thing lolc her online then zham alr tok tell her i finding my posting now wish me luck. then found out le tok a few more lines she go out le lol.

after that i dota lo ah wang dunno y load so fucking slow dunno y sia. dota dota then we went out go dhoby arcade first then go plaza sing buy tix for dunno wad movie havnt decided. then they way watch rule#1 i also bo bian just go. then reach counter they say left first row LOL yay missed this again shiok i dun like horror lol too afraid. then c got empress and warr the one got leon lai kelly chen hui ling and yuan zi dan sia i c yuan zi dan wan watch alr then we buy lo. after that got rot ard ps go carefour rot buy snacks then go up watch le. the movie ar fighting scene also so so leh disappointment sia thought yuan zi dan sure dam cool. but kelly chen is chio lol. the talking also abit weird weird de they. plot also so so very expected and cliche. lol basically this movie for fans only ba. after that go daiso lol rot ard wait wil to come then we go manhatten makan. nt bad taste like fish and co. pricing think around there de la. then we go arcade play short while watch pks lose fighting com marvel vs capcom we cheer lol ppl turn ard like we siao. lol. after that go home lo.

go home lol i alr thinking of her alr. keep thinking of her this few days. go home c her online sia internal struggle to zham anot i decided to wait till later ba hope she will tok to me. she really did sia initiate le then tok cok for awhile. then after that i started go mad lol jio her out go movie. didnt really meant it just try my luck testing her also play play ard. then c her response ar. lol very saddening. esp the last part sia. lol destroyed any remaining hope alr lol. i didnt have much anyway. after get back results ar jiu lose control le lol. now time to control again. lol now 130 am liao lo go slp slp. haiz sad so fast leave ending. but just take it like a man ba lan lan dun think so much endure like after 1st 3 months goin new class. lol trying to psycho myself. slp.

day 7/8

lol basically for day 7 i alr forget wad happened le just keep dotaing and ah wang at home. quite a sian life. lol oh ya thx to wil's youtube things i go tok to her again. tok tok tok. then at last part quite shuang sia. details hmm. lazy type.

k so day8. today morn wake up ah wang again then havnt watch much dota le. dota wil suddenly say he goin watch movie yuan lai is watch the china bball show i also wan watch de then i tagged along lo me wil kh geng liang wei qi go watch. lol the cinema ar totally empty except for one couple there watchin lol. y the guy take the gal watch this show sia lol unless they both bball or they think bo lang watch wan do sth funny in the cinema. wa the show is zai man all the dribbling how they qie pass ppl all dam nice. think ncier then jay chou bball lol. watch that all hand itchy and inspired alr lol all wan bball then we go aj bball since wil goin bak also and wen tao they all also there playin. go there bball lo bball until sibei shag ard 7. then 7 plus go back home makan lo then c this zinc send de email inside got wad story thing i c eh love story most impt is setting got njc student lol then go read le. abit cliche sia the story but still nt bad la quite nice. worse is they didnt put the ending at the back wan us go buy zzzzzz. then dota lo no chance ah wang lol.

zzz block leave ending soon liao. tml wake up noe posting le siaaa. exciting lol but this time posting is random leh nt based on ability like o's and a's results those type i like getting the results sia exciting ci ji sia. haiz uni till now havn apply army stuff havnt prepare sia. lol tml ba. and better fginish ah wang soon. lol cont discuss with wil his shit.

block leave day 5 and 6

lol so fast sia half the block leave gone le.... shit i feel emo again goin to unit... no more long holidays liao... anw back to blog.
day5. wake up 8 plus slp again wake up at 12pm wtf waste so much time. wake up le ah wang lo dunno got dota anot watch till 3 plus com suddenly hang i restart then the damn thing keep restarting again zzzzzzzzzz. spoil alr i sibei dulan sia waste my time i try to fix cannot then go father com watch ah wang. then 6pm like dat com fix father com home fix also fix ok le ard 11 then i start to install everything back zzzz install until 1am then let it dl maple. zzz waste whole day sia becos of the stupid com. in btw watch ah wang on tv lol even though watch b4 le wah watch on tv is shiok de the feeling compared to watch on com... if can every day 7pm sit down on sofa watch tv eat dinner jiu shiok... just like old times... lol emo le.

day 6. today wake up ard 9 plus 10 ba play one round dota then wil go out le. then whole afternoon rot ard watch ah wang as usual. damn nice sia ah wang. rox. then process continue until night dota one round with wil and olk own dao... final team score 50-10 sia wtf. then now blogging lo. sian lol is day 7 of leave liao sia so fast. think tml c the uni admin the financial assistance c how ba. then can go apply liao. then tml go fold army clothes also. sian sia at first want try nt to think so much think i can nt emo and accept wadeva they throw at me but now ar i abit scared alr lol and she bu de my civi life alr.. shit sia cannot emo too much. i think back how my bro do it sia he no one encourage him or wad more like he kena discouraged like mad cos his plt ppl suan him dota lousy play game also nv call him. i quite lucky le plt ppl got call me go out with them watch movie. my bro also endure all the shit no complain about miss home whatsoever. think i too spoilt le ba. Ler also nv complain miss home as much as i do sia everytime i book in emo de need tok to ppl. haiz reflect alr still cannot improve leh.

and now ar fug sia increasingly starting to think of her again shit. must press it down again. somemore her bdae coming i also dunno wad to do. haiz lol. go slp lo hope tml more meaningful ba lol.

block leave day 3 and 4.

hmm yest block leave day 3 nv do much ba keep ah wang dota ah wang dota lo. wa ken wong they all go nus sia nv tell me pang seh zzz. they say got tell me leh but i didnt noe. think i slping. yest think my runny nose quite bad sia so feel sleepy afternoon slp to evening wake up makan dinner play play lo. lol wan watch tv also nth for me to watch all nt nice. but c tv abit also shuang lol remb last time every day 7pm turn on tv eat dinner. now ar haiz lol. play play watch ah wang then slp le dam late. lol she got inititate msn but quite spas few words then kia liao. lol forget it.
block leave day 4 ie today. today morn wake up alr 10am le watch ah wang abit about to go run pks jio dota lol so fuck just play. play play then go out meet wil kr cw yk teo supposesedly go nus but yk wan change creative earpiece and wan go the hq so go jurong east there wal to the hq which isquite ulu also dunno how go there. reach there le start raining also rain quite heavily so we stuck inside then sit at the place wad proffesional audio de surround sound then got one big tv to test the sound system. sit there tok cok decided nt to go nus go lan instead lol. tok till time up c rain also stop le then walk bak walk halfway rain bo dai bo ji start again also ery heavy zzzz. take bus go mrt then go dhoby arcade wait for bok play the bball machine until high lol always high de that one. play till shag bok also come le then go lan lol lan until very high as usual lol. i lina sia keep shouting at opponent ie wil tan teo kr kh olk challenge them lol. very funny. think whole shop we fucking noisy lol i also abit paiseh but heck they also dunno who i am. lan finish go swensons makan celebrate kh bdae as well then go home then now playing com lo.
lol this few days like more xiang tong le xia. every book out like wan enjoy wan enjoy must go out must eat must play must do this must do that like do for the sake of doin sia also nt really enjoying. now do everything also nt enjoying sia. now trying to just relag and really enjoy wad im doin instead of do for the sake of doing though i also cant really differentiate surely whether i am enjoying or not. haiz now keep looking back at the past at the civi life sia thats y. must learn to look foward. nt easy but slowly learn ba. haiz but jiang shan yi gai ben xin nan yi. still think to much le fang bu xia. lol got one convo with her sia halfway tok tok then tok until she ask whether i still like her anot. shld have replied yes sia and c her reaction. i replied dunno zzz dumb shit. anw lol its too laaaate. lol go back play le tml cont think abt uni.

no title

day 2 of block leave. yest day of of block leave. yest morn go find rene for my medical letter, then i reach there he still slping zzz then wait for him to come lo sit ard then he come we tok abit cok slack around till 11 plus then go home le go home dota and all. dota dota dota watch ah wang xin zuan cos got tang ning yea. but abit disappointed sia tang ning act as a rich girl with attitude prob de so aiya. but nvm. then after playing go watch step up 2 with ah soon ah girl tim godfrey kenny peirera and andy. ah soon bought 9 plus de tix so we wait around go ps makan. wah i dam dumb i wan eat the indon bbq then i c this stall got indon word then i just go there buy but c c no bbq stuff leh dunno wad i thinking sia i thought maybe is somewhere else so i just buy wad fish set end up is cai fan nia wtf. then i look right then c the correct indon bbq stall zzzzz. sibei sian. after that go arcade play play. lol peirara go play those grab toy de machine spam dunno how much sia. he lucky first few tries got one alr then got one mickey mouse he make the grabber thing spoil lol the thing dislocated then hit the toy then toy drop lol. after that no luck alr. then godfrey come we go kfc there wait i play kenny psp wah got god of war sia now dam tempted buy psp alr. quite fun but screen dam small leh. then time up go watch lo. bascially the movie nth much except c them dance dance dance lo. then go home le.
now for day 2. morn wan watch ah wang then tudou down zzz. then go dl maple lol play like 4% nia wan slp le. then wan watch ratatouille then load so slow zzz then go play td these type of game slack around. now nth to do so blog lo.

POP lo

lol wanted to cont blogging from last week de a level post but forget wad i wan say le. anw POP lo!!! up rank alr sia become private. lol i c alot ppl like very happy sia got the 12 days leave. i also happy la but nt so happy sia. 12 days leave... then life as men... today ar i go home c my home... think 12 days stay at home le then when go unit how to go sia.. used to home alr tell me go camp again i will die.... my bro also say i think too much... haiz cant help it. haiz bmt is the slack days man dunno life next time will how. make bonds alr.. even though i dun like alot of ppl in my platoon lol... alot of idiots and all la. lol this few days ar my rash going haywire sia little bit itch like mad. maybe cos after a's ar c her alr start to think about her shit abit ar then unstable alr. seriously think my rash due to i think abt her one lo lol. the timing is there my itch start when started all the shit. now home sweet home lo.. oh ya sia still havnt decide go which uni which course keep procrstinating lol. then my camp stuff also havnt unpck havnt arrange havnt wash also keep procrastinating. think tml must go unpack alr then shun bian think about uni. lol just now finally watched DeathNote2le... nt that nice anw. then i saw dunno where c think they going show ah wang xin zuan on tv then saw tang ning inside sia.... tang ning leh lol...she asked b4 y i put her pic as my display pic i replied is my gf then she said gd for me lol...wad a sian reply... anw wah lau cannot watch on weekdays sianzzz... so now watching on tudou lol. wa and got another new jin yong series sia bi xue jian produced in china like shen diao that type sia i also wan watch think also cannot... settle on tudou liao lol. haiz now cont watching ba for now nth much to blog about yet lol. or maybe is i sian of blogging liao lol.

a levels....

lol i now left 18mins to blog but i got aot of thoughts sia. k first thing is fom last week. hmm that week quite slack but lack of sleep nearly fell asleep and fell down during a parade lol luck i woke up in time to save myself. k nt much liao. fri afternoon book out to take results wah lau eh reach pasir ris at 230 i alr du lan liao. taking the bus to interchange that time fren already calling me le where am i where am i i still in bus they going to sch le. then i heck care just took bus home to put my stuff and change at 253pm ler call me say taking results le i still on my way home. then ken wong call again tell me to take blazer or else cannot take the results back heng sia or i go there do nothing alr. at 4 plus i reach nj le. wah the feeling sia hard to describe. reach the bus stop alight, c the ppl there, remb how last time every morn i drag my sorry corpse to sch, walk here to take bus home, c the nj students and the uniform, the pe shirt everything. then walk in sch, c xiao xi dan hong shanly lol. so qiao. they c me botak started laughing lol waved to them then carry on le. then reaching grand stand wa. i saw her lol. then str8 awa internal battle to go up to her or siam. then my instinct say siam then i wanted to walk to the closer steps first she on the further steps then i reach le lol saw her then aiya just call her la i called her she didnt hear call second time c her head got turn trying to find i also dunno is trying to find or wad in btw us got ppl. i waited for a second or 2 internal battle then decided aiya just fuck it. lol mission failed le lor didnt pass her her shit sia then now dunno how to pass her alr or still wan pass anot tempted to throw in dustbin but cost money leh throw for wad. then carry on walk up then jiu msg her i saw her walk out. reach hall saw matthew wil tay and think pks waiting for me at the stiarcase from canteen lol how they noe i will be there sia. i go in hall c pks they all then go find gilbert take results. wa long time nv c gilbert alr sia. then need go general office return blazer first then can take results. lol taking results that time saw ade she also come tok i forget to pass her her stuff also but heck not the point. anw gilbert guai lan sia dun wan give then say i got 2 kind of grades for my results then i noe alr i say A and B lor then he smile smile say so confident ar then he cont say 4 get same grade then i say 4A 1B la then he smile smile again say wa u so confident ar again lol then gimme then is really 4 a 1 b lol. shiok man heng didnt screw my results sia or else i will regret. gp b rest all a. then after that lag around then go dhoby makan swensons. in btw she replied i asked her wad she got she told me 5As wtf. str8 a's sia better then me lol. but she put in like around 10 times more effort then me so nvm lol. then we(ie pks me chin kiat ken ler wil tay) makan swensons saw xings then tok lol. halfway ler go back book in le. then after that all sian sian sia go arcade short while then jiu go home dota makan snacks rot around. oh ya she also initiate msn sia i also surprised at first i nv tok much just haha here haha there lol like wad she did. then i enthu a little more her reply getting shorter and slower lol then i lazy le lol just go dota. think that day she super happy get str8 a's then come tok to me ba. k end of day lol.

next day go ntu open hse i and wil play dota till quite late then go lol. she also got go sia but we go so late she sure alr go work or go celebrate like what she said yest alr. anw we go around look look me wil kr at first then found ken and bae and roy then found olk then we walk around then we asked the eee asst prof some questions then we tok there damn long sia. think i affected le maybe going study eee next tme think is similar to wad i wanted to study those physics and maths de engineer rather then deal with chem and bio. then after that makan alr go home lo dota dota dota then wa she online sia also nv tok i sian then b4 i go slp i go check check go ask her she no need work ar she reply need then i say i go slp le lol. shit sia no time to blog alr 8 le kia.

some regrets and reflections...bt nt emo lol

hmmm... maybe becos close to p.o.p. le and after being more used to army and no more confinement... begin to reflect more. first thing is a's results. though havnt get back yet, but hope and nervous didnt do properly. regret last time ar didnt study so well... still got some memory work i didnt noe.. wasted my time thinking about her.. trying to fuck it trying to jio her again... even knowing is useless...thinking of new ideas to msg... emoing here and there...end up i still fail to jio dao... only make her more awkward and siam me more... then didnt concentrate a's properly... quite dumb of me lol. regret 1. now regret 2. this maybe nt so regret ba i dunreally noe. halfway keep kena confine then keepthreatening to confine.. then mrale so low all fireto go command sch alr put off alr... then slacken didnt train for ippt alr once in a while do nia... now ippt soc all fail... sure o more command sch.. but command sch also so shiong go in dunno can tahan anot... then command sch also will get confine alot how to tahan... but nv go life as a men... also sian... ppl ask u u army do wad u sae as men... no pride at all... if officer or sergeant at least nt bad...lol... but then say command sch shiong... haiz think men keep going jungle also damn sian sia. dunno la so is only regret abit lol. 3rd is reflection. think keep hacking snacks these days ar abit bad sia last time jc life also nv whack de now keep whacking sia. maybe there no food too hungry, maybe want eat something sweet and nice, maybe becos there cannot eat snacks at will so keep wan eat but last time i noe i anytime wan eat also can, maybe last time got za bors in sch dun wan stomach too big esp got her also then now army nth le so dun care.lol wan stop eating i think i also cant do it de. so just c how lo. lol now to post about today.
today shuang book out wad. go home str8 buy choc buy ruffles whack as usual... abit bad like i said earlier... then realised i nv bring back my dirty socks zzz. anw use com watch i nt stupid 2... influenced by her.. watch le nt bad really can cry de but of course i didnt eyes wet nia. understand y she will come out all tears de lol. after that dou niu then go out with tim ah soon ah girl and sammy, walk walk wait for ah girl then go swensons makan. wa firast time buy so ex ice cream norm nv buy at all de buy the wad sticky choc 7 dollar plus but need rush for time so quickly eat also didnt enjioy zzzz. watch L change the world also quite nice more on the save ppl be hero things emotions and all that rather then all the intellectual battle who smarter all the plans all that in the original comic the deathnote. then movie end go home take mrt with ah soon. then on com lo play one round dota own pub so easily then now blogging lol. haiz just now think thinking of wan disturb go guai lan her not but i wan to fug care her also think think she also offline le. lol im such an idiot. nvm just try to fug it. c waste so much time a's if nv think abt her then sure got more time de. lol go tok to wil alr.

so early book in

going book in again alr lo... need wait one more week b4 i can blog again... hope i can clear the main event for this week... if not ar i gg alr sia. quite scared suddenly die die must pass that one. wa shiok man no confinement can book out afterone week... just tahan one stupid week then can come out again... lol yest post at the back anihow do cos quite pissed alr and quite sian le. oh ya then maybe getting results sia.. if i screwed my a's ar haiz then quite sian didnt study fully that time so emo so distracted by otherthings lol. fug myself man so dumb. lol yest walk home c the moon so round and bright sia. i now 90% fug care her alr the last 10% will be completed on the day get results ba after i do my last mission. 2 weeks left to bop alr... time flies sia... honey moon period going over liao scared go unit very shiong sia... comfirm more shiong de but hope gimme those less shiong one.... haiz all like very shiong leh.. i wan go my bro unit seems much more slack then others... lol i better dun think so much b4 i go emo again. the emo feeling coming up alr sia. hmm till now havnt go find which course to study sia shit. next book out must go find alr. but most prob also wun do it so say shuang nia. wa can sleep at home is shuang de. luv my bed man dun like camp bed. haiz nth much to say le lol. oh ya got the movie sia wad forbidden kingdom like super cool like dat jet li jackie chan sia die die also must watch. scully come out april 10 loll. come out also fug care. nvm i go polish boots liao.

bdae

busy and tired day today. morn slp until onself wake up got sunlight super shuang. then on com rot ard then set off for bball le. bball i late reach there quite weird lol this bball coach/ uncle teaching wil they all basics of bball until wil du lan then our scouts kh and olk found another spot at blk 514 then wil just say we wanna go then we set off le. though i lost my phone sia heng i used the uncle phone call then it was in some unknown place in my bag. then bball lo play until veery tired sia last few bball sessions alo play until very tired b4 i enter army then go wil tan hs play dota lol keep losing abit sian. after that time to go off go makan sakura sit in mrt tok abit cok rech le c ken wong ar his hair ar super long alr. then xings also come, ks gh also come, vince didnt come stupid idiot. then go sakura meet hao then go up wait for our turn. wa sibei sian i buy the hp charger cant charge my nokia phone la wah lau great now i just found out my samsung also cannot mp3 also cannot i just threw away 30 dollars and im dam fucking pissed. zzz. we makan, tok cok, the food there ar i also sian le next time no need go so ex liao. after makan then go home dota till now go slp le lo

2 wks to bop...

lol im back after 2 weeks confinement... nth much to say, some things i wan say maybe restricted lol so better nt say... aniway something to me that is worth mentioning is wen i book in that time super emo... emo emo emo think about sunday then can come out... then on thurs i started to recover le stopped thinking just think fuck it just do just do they wan tekan nvm fuck it just let them i also dun care le. it helps lol now i dun think le just do just do. quite lifeless. like 行尸走肉like dat emotionless and lifeless. haiz. maybe like dat will help forget her as well. which is gd lol just now just toked to her nia guai lan lol. ask me y my display keep put the tang ning pic then i reply is my gf she dunno meh. then she reply gd. lol. wtf. then say she wanna zao le so i guai lan say is some hk actress la gd cos i wun pester u again rite. she also bo reply lol just cont typing her gdnight and run off lol. haiz fuck it. her stuff i also dun feel like passing alr feel like throw away le f it. but nvm just giv. then during jungle lol first night sia i dreamt i at home watching tv then tv showing alone/body 19 i also blur. then i saw the picture on tv is very horror zzzzzzzz. second night got alot of time i and my bed buddy just lie down tok about gals lol he say his stuff mostly then we 2 just there tok tok tok till lights out. then i dreamt that she 回心转意i dunno y sent her present then she sent back say wad like me or something or wad. then i heck care du lan throw aside. then dreamt she call me on my phone i rejected the call lol. then send back the present without doing replying. wah the feeling is shiok de lol. wake up feeling shuang lol. quite stupid lol. heck it la tmd. i quite eager to get my results lol think quite exciting. bdae can book out also shuang book out le go out with wil and kr go amk hub makan food court eat bbq chicken hao jian which i dun really like and mango ice. in btween find cw, find wil frens, his customer from ajc, his target lol. then keep seeing his fren yumin lol i at khatib mrt supermarket also c her sia. then go home lo then now blog lol. tml also packed morn bball night makan afternoon dunno do wad. haiz nth to blog abt alr lol. oh ya shit sia my fitness r abit lousy compared to my platoon ppl sia they imprve alot i stagnent. dunno how. lol. haiz i putting down alot le lol. next step is to totally disappear. hard sia. lol our charac really dun match as well ba. yea time to slp lo go read wil blog first 2 weeks worth of post still got dou niu watch shit and bleach sia la suddenly very busy alr.

lol last blog b4 book after cny

sian sia now left ard 10 mins b4 i leave home le. now no one at home left pks and ken online with me. sux man time flies so fast. now go back camp again. i still nt sure sit test do wad lol. haizzzz. i will miss home sia. looking foward to a level results that day can book out. anone reading this pls tell me asap if u noe whn the alevel result coming out. sux now the feeling like first book in super bad. wan cry like dat lol. somemore hse empty except me super sian one la. lol think her letter i bring in camp do ba. sian sian . y only i so emo de miss home so much sia other ppl like no kick. just hope this 2 week easy ba. lol after long book out jiu fug emo. shits. lol if u all c this sms me ba tok to me lol. gtg lo hahas. oh ya sia 2 weeks more b4 i blog for 2 days sia. sometimes really feel like down pes then become 9-5 clerk. c how ba. 2 mths alr still like dat sia. end on a hahas ba more optimistic hahas.

end of cny le T_T sobs

haiz its alr sunday le 1226am... sian today will be booking in le... fug sia suddenly fugging emo le sia my eyes abit wet le... so fast man my 5 days gone in a flash... army again... wa i think about next time worse man when go unit that time everyday in camp no holidays one wah siannn. bmt still got alot holidays sia cny new year a levels. after bmt still got one week break. next time go unit or wad no more such shit le until quite late sia sian. dunno how to endure le. haizz. today also quite sian. afternoon say one go out watch ah long de by the time pks buy tix alr no space at all anywhere liao. so cancelled and stay home. dota dota dota until evening ba i forgot le then rotted ard wasted precious time. haiz sianz. just now dota also tio tock sia sian even more. y like dat sia. maybe i shld go down pes alr. or be a man and tahan everything. lol oh ya morn i got sms her sia cos she nv reply me when i send the super long sms then i tried c she got receive anot she replied say gotreceive sia. so she got receive that time and didnt want to reply. so i noe wad to do alr lol. aiya long time ago noe wad to do alr. sianz. one less like source of strength. now also dun think can go command school alr and maybe no fire le. another source of strength gone. left only my brothers as my source of strength left. nt much le lol. sian. haiz. cny this yr nv go mother side sia. if got go ar means use up alot more time. zzz y i keep wasting precious time sia after so many lessons still cannot improve. think i slp too much le ba. haiz but in camp also slp nt enough. wake up 515 how to have energy. just like in jc as long as wake up early no matter how early slp also no strength. now starting like dat le. at first still can cos a few weeks nia nw startig to take its toll liao. roar. dunno when she will c this blog lol. zz must go find more sources of strength. but how sia. only book out. everyday looking foward to all the meals. fug la if can bring food wil be much better. stupid. sian now 1am le. prob cont writing my letter tml ba. lol maybe my letter put my blog webby sia. lol c how. tempting leh. sian mum ard how write letter. bro also awake. sia la my internet anytime cut off lol. now rot ard think go slp liao.

cny day 2

k so is cny day2. zzz countdown to back to army 2 days left. zzz next time i blog will be 2 weeks later. think about it jiu sian and emo sia. z. anw today morn nth much forget got play anot le did some admin work with my mp3 then afternoon went out with family go sentosa c flowers.-.-. there also nth much la took a few pic walk walk nth to c then sian alr go vivo makan dinner at wad superdog fast food ex and quality so so nia. then reach home le dota lo now dota finish alr nia. oh ya sia pks send the super long chi sms sia then i foward to you-know-who then till now no reply lol. either nv c or she think elsewhere alr when i didnt mean anything lol. or maybe starhub eat my sms which happened in tekong. i send at 1030 leh dun think she ever slp so early one. lol. z more i think about it more i think my rashes is mentally one like xing bing when i cure it the rash will also go away. the rash start think about same time as i start to flop ba i suppose. lol tml beter start preparing my shit alr or else no time le. think tml will go out ba better go out or book in sure fug emo de. lol now go tok cok do mp3 admin lo...