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bballed today, quite fun, shooting seemed to improved just a little, didnt have much chance to dribble and pass too, so cant really tell. speedwise seemed to have decreased though, endurance also seemed to dropped, or maybe they are just faster by abit. Maybe one week of inactivity have taken its toll. after that rot awhile in wil hse, stalk ppl abit, then went amk pool, not much change lol. now im blogging alr.

face skin cui, everyday new wounds again damn. at least body is ok.

anw haiz nowadays coming home walking back to house, look at the sky, the surroundings, so big so wide. seems like so little time to c all this sia. play finish crisis core, the story ok la abit sad, but hear the background music, more emo sia. thinking about how emo the music is, listening to it, thinking abou the ppl around me, my life, my skin, bball, future career, so many things, so many unknown. i dun really noe wad i want animore haha. think about the book in feeling, recapping the feeling , feels horrible ugh. feel like i havnt c the world enough yet sia, havnt experince enough, havnt feel enough, havnt know enough havnt life enough yet. but sths can be so lazy to live, just wasting time. thinking abou tmy job next time, engineer work long hours nt so gd pay, maybe burn sat as well, then where will have time to live life with my job. next time must try to find a more slack engineer job that wun burn weekends haha. or go up to management, which i think im nt suitable. hiaz think about the music, so beautiful, the scenery also nt bad, all the green and all, than think about wad actually is beautiful, wad do i noe about this, think about many things jiu dui le haha.

haiz feel sth wrong somewhere haha. i think i perform better in a group than solo haha, like in co im one of the better one in the big group, but in jc my section damn small, i cui alr. gain strenth/ support from people around me, even if they dun need to do anything, just their presence makes a diff, alr. so maybe i feel lonely rite now, everyday in the office only got 2 other nsf, one which i despise alr due to fucked up attitude. but last time stay in also feel lonely leh, even thought got camp frens, maybe lost touch with civi world also feels lonely.

last time sec 4 i think was my most happy time haha, with a huge clique like half the class, originally was wil tan, me kr, matthew aloy zheng cong guo hui vincent this ppl, then after sitting at the back at sec 4, got to know danny ming hui ambrose this, and the whole clique merge or sth. tok cok gamble go lan dota maple tgt, life was fun. or maybe i havnt grow up yet last time. jc 1 near end and jc 2 first few months also quite happy, cos keep toking to her haha. after that haiz go down the drain. haiz i think uni life may be lonely, as like dun have fixed classes and all, hard ot make frens. jc alr nt very happy with the class le, cos the clique stick so damn close to each harder and never mix, dun have bonding de lo, want bond ler and ken always pon how bond, j2 they force sitting plan then bond abit at the back with yihong ade and kahyan abit, then get to know their clique abit liao. also co ade right infront of me so got talk. but still damn hard to make one big group like back in cat high, one big clique sing song talk cok play then o levels all gan chiong tgt study, and when one person exam do well all will like bully/tease/play abit for fun that type. jc wah lau abit stress sia like everyone beneath all wan to climb to the top like power struggle like that, cannot lose cannot lose like that, so full of motives, nt like sec so pure/naive. next time in life, even worse alr, ppl wan promote, gou xin dou jiao, how to find such frens alr. my office for example is a dman fucked up gou xin dou jiao place alr, ppl all stabbing in eac other's back, they tell us nsfs cos we like harmless and dun get involved, maybe just their punching bag haha. no wonder nowadays ppl rather play with computer than have social interactions, a com have no intentions behind, or wan to suan u or make sacarstic remarks or take over ur job all these, nt like humans, have to defend against ppl.

now i think im just wasting my 2 years haha, or rather just learning office relations, how to get along with ppl in the office, all the office skills ba, then come back home jiu just relag and play psp, like abit wasting my 2 years haha. nt doing anything productive haha, nt upgrading myself like learning driving or studying or sth. just feel lazy, just wan to slack sia. and not interested in driving as well, but seems like i have to learn it sia. i think the past me wouldnt have mind slacking haha, but her hardworking traits have rubbed off/on me, now like slack will feel abit guilty or sth, like cannot slack must keep working like that.

haiz i also dunno wad im writing alr, go prepare dota le.