.

yesh one month down, bb sept.

next thing to look foward to, next wed pub holiday, then pay day.

anw. this week. weekday ok.

fri. nth much.

sat. went amk with wil they all watch them buy psp. like za bor trying on clothes sia. first is compare price. ok thats fine. then choose colour. take dunno how long. then is choose game. wtf took like 1 hr plus plus. after every thing finish go collet psp then trying to distribute the game discs. whole thing like window shopping for clothes, trying on clothes, choosing design, and finally how to wear the damn thing also need so long. aracde a while, as usual. then go home nv do much go slp liao.

sun. morn go watch them bball. damn really wan play sia. then go wil hse rot then go woodlands a sec then go watch painted skin. wah nt bad sia c ppl so willing to sacrifice themselves. cliche though the movie nth much. then go teo hse rot. learnt the most basic mahjong lol. rot playing olk psp, then finally went home now blogging.

nth much this week. my eagle claws more or less fully learnt. every day new scratch wounds. wtf. weekend discussing about wil and tong lol. seems like i prob becoming stone alr.

prob let go liao hahas. time heals all wounds sia.
but scars remain.

but there's always plastic surgery haha.

.

yesh another week passed.

another happening week in office. lol think we getting scolded more and more often liao lol. noisy they say. = nothing to do. even the one sitting beside us also give us a lecture sia. lol. beter watch out or will be signing extras alr.

today, ie sat. a very peaceful day, maybe boring. morn wake up at 10 lol sleep more feel more tired. wake up play game lo. a nice bright sunny sat and im at home playing com what a waste. 11 plus went downstairs buy rice so many ppl downstairs coffee shop eating the breakfast, talking, reading newspapers, ppl at markets look see look see, so full of life. reminds me of stay in days where i treasure such liveliness. civi life. book in feeling.

afternoon rotted infront of com. wanted to go arcade play, but handicapped without my taps card zz.

night. went out for a walk downstairs, and saw some things. saw this very young boy climb a lampost with ease. no gloves no equipment. just hands and feet. im sure his parents never taught him how to do it. yet he do it so easily. zai. no fear.

walk somemore saw in cc wushu performance, just nice the taiji part. zai.

walk one big round to stadium there saw in the indoor court bball match taking place. watching the players, as well as the people watching the players. 感触良多haha. wad if i could be the one playing lol. and got ppl watching.

as i walk thinking about alvin chua's blog the tagboard, one comment is that someone say he need a gf to cure his loneliness. hmm alot ppl feeling lonely sia maybe this is the solution. hmmm maybe this is a biological need at this age and all. wonder y girls dun feel lonely at all. their blog nv say anything. lol prob its ns.

now im rotting again, trying to ignore this itch. fucking bleeding again. and seems like the skin is taking longer to heal compared to last time.

yesh next week will be sept end, and one month gone again.

.

A week of office politics indeed. like some of the colleagues say when i first came in, these ppl u help them they will take advantage of you. and these group of people are purely colleagues, nt frens. i now understand what they were saying. help ppl abit, and they say u're too free no work to do. wadever.

whole week kena nag about my skin and all. damn fed up. i'll put an end to all this. everything.

now i know wad it feels to be at the bottem, how sucky the feeling is, considering i've never really been down there, gd grades nt the worst at everything. now i know.

i'll end all of this. enough is enough. i'll prove it.

.

a short weekend just fly past nia.

weekday same old shit.

sat. decided to go to co lunch, which didnt really felt like going but alr agree ppl le so just go. wasnt that bad ba but nevertheless sian. felt like sleeping throughout. ler was also stoning so much. dun feel much anyway nowadays hardened and cold no feeling liao. after that went with ler go vivo buy tix then he zao le i go back dhoby arcade on my own. spam on ghost squad and bball. wandering around the arcade c chio bus c all the couple ar haiz cold wind blowww. xin han. haha. -.-. then go back vivo watch cyborg she lo nt bad movie main char very chio. nt that touching lol and the flashback make ppl confused nia spoil the movie abit. windstruck more zai lol super emo de sia. after that shop ard help wil decide wad to buy to give his next potential target. then go back dhoby find kh and frens at this pub nt bad atmosphere though i dun like drinking and all this. then go arcade play abit then go mac makan then go home lo. go home tok msn awhile only mum kp then have to go slp.

sun. bball. nt bad as usual. then go wil hse rot watch long hu men again then rot here rot there then zao home dota heng last match win. then rot in msn till now lo.

haiz dunno how to describe the feeling now. lol seems like everyone feeling like quite lost, sian, fucked up, sick and tired of this shit, plus many many more. "y u so negative about ns ar". after i saw this i swear i wun msg her again. nt angry. but just. i also dunno how to say. so easily can sweep this aside like its nothing like dat. feel very wad. even though i quite useless but still... lol now i c ns taking its toll on many ppl sia. while im out of all those chiong sua and shit. lol nowadays dun feel like goin out to c ppl, esp those nt rly close de. no face to c ppl liao lol. i wan to hide in one corner nia. i reply ppl i clerk, can tell the way they think change alr. i alr seen it. clerk = cui. rly is cui la i wun deny. but still no face to c ppl alr.

feel a mixture of empty, pointless, useless, and after all that, no feeling at all.

啊~~ 谁说我不在意空等候
原来 你从来都没深刻爱我
我才懂不是我不心痛
其实是心没了感受


anw... i noe teo will be stalking this, so, GD LUCK FOR UR BRUNEI TRIP!!! noe that we're ard, and u have ur bros in the ouside world outside of the damn army camp and ns and all.